'Twas a "Misty Morning", as Bob Marley would say, for 19-month old Jack's backyard Baptism on June 11, 2011. But the soft rain didn't stop us from holding the ceremony outdoors. The watery air felt cool, soothing, refreshing & nourishing after the recent heat wave... reminding us of the gifts of Water and why it's used in a Baptism/Baby Blessing. We did a traditional blessing, named the Godparents, and honored Jack's aunts, uncles and grandparents (including one Great-Grandpa). We also turned to face the Four Directions (North-South-East-West), meditating on what they represent in our lives, as the aroma of Sweetgrass incense wafted through the breeze. Jack was in his own world through most of it, happy to be the blessed center of attention; but then when I held my hand over him for the Final Blessing, he suddenly stood at attention and became mesmerized! Much to the delight of the family members surrounding him. Then he unexpectedly gave me the "high-five" which was great! I hope to post a pic or video of this soon :) What a cool little guy... welcome to this nutty world, Jack!
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Phil's Wed Blog
What To Do When Your Beach Wedding Is Rained Out
On Sunday May 15, 2011, I was supposed to officiate the nuptials of Jill & Keith on the beach at Seven Presidents Park in Long Branch, NJ. But it ended up being a pretty cloudy day, so the ceremony was moved to Branches Catering in West Long Branch. To quote my first grade art teacher: "When you get a lemon, make lemonade..." So during the indoor ceremony, the house lights were dimly lit. Behind the bride & groom was a video projection of waves crashing on the beach. Jill & Keith still got to make their wedding vows with their bare feet in the sand: they were standing on a tapestry on the carpet covered with sand, shells & starfish, with "Jill & Keith" written in the sand. The effect was almost like a moonlit evening on the beach. It made for a magical and unique wedding ceremony... something the guests will never forget.
Englewood wedding, 5/7/11
Dear Rev. Phil,
Thank you for doing such a wonderful job at our wedding. It was a truly special ceremony and one of the greatest moments of my life. Your calm attitude surrounding the whole ceremony part of the wedding was wonderful. Ted and I both commented on it and how it helped us relax. The ceremony was the one part of the day that I wasn't worried about and wasn't stressed out at all about. Thank you for that, because that made me able to be more present in the moment and really enjoy every bit of the ceremony.
Thanks for the well wishes! Being married is awesome and I have been loving every minute of it!
Thanks again!
Adrien & Ted (married 5/7/11 in Englewood, NJ)
Thank you for doing such a wonderful job at our wedding. It was a truly special ceremony and one of the greatest moments of my life. Your calm attitude surrounding the whole ceremony part of the wedding was wonderful. Ted and I both commented on it and how it helped us relax. The ceremony was the one part of the day that I wasn't worried about and wasn't stressed out at all about. Thank you for that, because that made me able to be more present in the moment and really enjoy every bit of the ceremony.
Thanks for the well wishes! Being married is awesome and I have been loving every minute of it!
Thanks again!
Adrien & Ted (married 5/7/11 in Englewood, NJ)
Recent Weddings: From Staten Island to Pines Lake
This weekend I officiated a wedding for Odalisa & Jorge en Español at The Vanderbilt, Staten Island. It was in a big gazebo right on the boardwalk overlooking the beach. A picture perfect day, a bit warm at noon, but very nice. The wind was kicking up a bit, it knocked over a plant right before hand, and nearly blew the trellis down during the ceremony but we were grateful for the breeze! It did nothing to take away from the ceremony.I also officiated the first wedding ever held at the Laurelwood Arboretum in Pines Lake, Wayne, NJ. It was for Claire and Don in the new Memorial Gazebo there. Those gardens are beautiful! with a uniquely-crafted wooden gazebo overlooking a pond with fountains. This location is the best-kept secret in North Jersey for a small ceremony! Really nice, tranquil and inspiring.Today I did another ceremony at The Bethwood in Totowa. The gazebo and the perfect weather combined for a magical setting. Some unique touches to Shannon & Patrick's ceremony: I loosely tied their hands together reminiscent of old Irish traditions, and blessed their hands as I spoke about the gifts their hands are to each other. Then I removed the cloth that held their hands together. Later, after heartfelt vows they wrote themselves and read, I said a special Cherokee prayer and blessed them with sweetgrass incense, which has a unique and very nice scent. It is considered sacred by many Native American cultures. Shannon & Pat's Catholic families really loved both these touches and the bride & groom received many complements on the ceremony!June 2010 Weddings Have Begun!
Wedding season has truly begun!
So far in June I've officiated:
A sunny outdoor wedding at the gazebo of The Bethwood (Totowa) for Claudia and Norman. Norman's heritage is part Lenape (Native American) from the Ramapough Mountain Nation of NJ, so we included some Lenape spirituality in the ceremony. We honored the Grandmother and Grandfathers of the Four Directions and what each represents in marriage and in our lives, as the bride and groom offered tobacco in a seashell to the East, South, West and North. I used some Cedar & Sage incense for the blessing. We also honored Claudia's Mexican heritage with a special wedding poem, said to date back to pre-Colonial times in Mexico:
I know not whether thou has been absent:
I lie down with thee, I rise up with thee,
In my dreams thou art with me.
If my eardrops tremble in my ears,
I know it is thou moving within my heart.
A sunny morning ceremony at The Mill (Spring Lake Heights) by the pond, as a swan swam by... the highlight was when I related the heartfelt and often humorous things Regina and Matt had to say about their love and how they met via a questionnaire that I offer to all couples. People loved it! There was laughter and it was very sweet.
the joyous and moving nuptials of Kara and Laura, two beautiful brides who wed each other at The Berkeley Hotel (Asbury Park). God bless them for embracing the possibilities in this amazing world.
the muy linda backyard wedding of Estela and Moe in Passaic, NJ, who have a love story resembling "The Notebook" going back over 10 years; and were so thrilled to finally be together surrounded by their loving children and family.
a moving Baptism for Kollet, 9 weeks young, in the gazebo of Town Hall Park (Lyndhurst). Kollet's cousins had hand-painted seashells in which we held water and the other liquids for her anointing. Her dad Charlie said, "Everyone was blown away by the ceremony... it's different! It's REAL." Other guests loved how personal the ceremony was.
So far in June I've officiated:
A sunny outdoor wedding at the gazebo of The Bethwood (Totowa) for Claudia and Norman. Norman's heritage is part Lenape (Native American) from the Ramapough Mountain Nation of NJ, so we included some Lenape spirituality in the ceremony. We honored the Grandmother and Grandfathers of the Four Directions and what each represents in marriage and in our lives, as the bride and groom offered tobacco in a seashell to the East, South, West and North. I used some Cedar & Sage incense for the blessing. We also honored Claudia's Mexican heritage with a special wedding poem, said to date back to pre-Colonial times in Mexico: I know not whether thou has been absent:
I lie down with thee, I rise up with thee,
In my dreams thou art with me.
If my eardrops tremble in my ears,
I know it is thou moving within my heart.
A sunny morning ceremony at The Mill (Spring Lake Heights) by the pond, as a swan swam by... the highlight was when I related the heartfelt and often humorous things Regina and Matt had to say about their love and how they met via a questionnaire that I offer to all couples. People loved it! There was laughter and it was very sweet.the joyous and moving nuptials of Kara and Laura, two beautiful brides who wed each other at The Berkeley Hotel (Asbury Park). God bless them for embracing the possibilities in this amazing world. the muy linda backyard wedding of Estela and Moe in Passaic, NJ, who have a love story resembling "The Notebook" going back over 10 years; and were so thrilled to finally be together surrounded by their loving children and family.a moving Baptism for Kollet, 9 weeks young, in the gazebo of Town Hall Park (Lyndhurst). Kollet's cousins had hand-painted seashells in which we held water and the other liquids for her anointing. Her dad Charlie said, "Everyone was blown away by the ceremony... it's different! It's REAL." Other guests loved how personal the ceremony was. Wow, Lots of Baptisms...
This Winter/Spring has been busy with Baptisms.
- On Feb. 27 I baptized Alaynah at The Brownstone, a really nice ceremony as the sun warmed us through the ceiling glass. I started the ceremony by playing lullabuys on the mbira, an instrument from Africa with a tranquil, soothing sound. Kids seem to love it, ad so do adults!
- On March 6 I was honored to baptize Samantha Nielson at her parents' home in Middletown. I baptized her older sister Sophia 2 years ago, and married their parents Laura and Russ in June 2006 in a breezy ceremony next to the pond at The Mill at Spring Lake. I remember that wedding well... we barely got the Unity Candle lit because of the wind on that sunny morning! And I always remember that Russ had a crush on Laura, whom he would see at the gym, for many months before ever speaking to her. It was only when his sister accompanied him to the gym one day and threatened to go embarrass him in front of Laura, that Russ finally worked up the courage to go speak to her. And the rest is history!!
- on March 13 I baptized Haley Wagner at Luce Restaurant in Caldwell. I baptized her brother Jesse in 2007, and now he's a typhoon of energy who runs around karate-chopping everybody! And I officiated the wedding of their parents in September 2005. It's really pretty humbling to be part of a family's spiritual life from marriage to kids, it leaves me speechless and very grateful.
- on March 27 I officiated Emilie Felline's baptism at Amici Restaurant in Bayonne. She was a real sport and no tears were shed (maybe she was saving them for later :) She has a look on her face that she is wiser than her years. I was honored to marry her parents Kristin and Gregory at Liberty House in September 2008.
A Busy Summer of Beautiful Weddings & Baptisms!
I've been busy this summer!
Here are some highlights of the great ceremonies I've been privileged to officiate in 2009:
A sunrise 4th of July ceremony for Aulynn & Ted, on the beach at Sea Bright... (pic is at the very top of this page!)
A beautiful afternoon ceremony on a humid yet gorgeous day for Elisa and Richie at LBI's Mallard Island Yacht Club 8/22/09 ...
2 great weddings in Perona Farms' new Piazza for Maria & Jabbo en Español, Maria had a bright smile during the ceremony... and Jaimie and Garrett had a beautiful day there as well...
Jackie & Rafael's happy nuptials at Courtyard on Main, Freehold...
Trish & Jared's fun wedding at Glen Island Harbour Club, where their son the ringbearer accidentally burnt his hand before the wedding (he was fine though, just stressed out in a 4-year old kind of way... then he was stunned to discover hundreds of people waiting for him when he entered the room 
... they did a beautiful Sand Ceremony together...
Jessica & Matt's personalized vows at Valleybrook Country Club (Blackwood) where they vowed "to be bad-ass full-time" as part of their vows :) ... and I played Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" on guitar as the bridesmaids walked down the aisle. And in spite of these lighthearted touches, this was a remarkably heartfelt and sincere ceremony!
Lauren & Frank's really cool wedding at Studio 450 in Manhattan 6/20/09... I met some cool nuns from their family afterwards... "That Guitar Guy" from Central Park did the music...
Melissa and Luis' wedding in Spanish, surrounded by trees in Manhattan's Fort Tryon Park by the Cloisters 6/19/09... a hot day but great!
Two great weddings at Crystal Plaza for Mike and Thanuja (sunny and gorgeous in the gazebo garden out back) and Camila and Fernando (indoors, where I said some things in Portuguese and English including the Unity Candle... and they presented roses to their parents and each other. Agora pode beijar a noiva! (you may now kiss the bride)
A sunny wedding at Crystal Springs in Vernon for Stephanie and Louis (his family is from the same village in Sicily as Sinatra and Lucky Luciano... 40 minutes from where my family is from (Ciminna))
Cheryl and Greg, a sweet couple, were married at Carlstadt's Il Villaggio...
Suehaydee & Juan's beautiful sunny wedding en Español at Garden Cathay in Plattekill, NY...
Desiree & Walter's delightful Español nuptials at Florentine Gardens...
Victor & Ydalim's bilingual Español ceremony at Voorhees Chapel on the Rutgers campus... it was warm in there but so was the love in the air :)
Deirdre & Fabiano's fun wedding at the American Legion in Edgewater... I played guitar for the processional and recessional...
Karissa & Matt who flew in from Wyoming to marry at the Jersey City Hyatt overlooking the Hudson on a real sunny picture-perfect Monday...
baby Gabriel's baptism in the sunny backyard with loving parents Kerry & Jared, who I was honored to marry in Nyack back on 7/7/07!
Mandyjane & Dan's sunset ceremony in the courtyard of the Olde Mill Inn, can't go wrong at such a nice place! We did a nature-inspired blessing of the rings with water, sweetgrass and herbs which everyone loved...
Gina and Jeffrey's wedding at one of the best kept secrets on cool locations: Adega Grill in Newark! A beautiful small room with amazing fireplace backdrop and ambience, and amazing tapas from the cuisine of Spain/Portugal (I was able to stay for the cocktail hour and glad I did!)
Richard and Annie at the stunning White Meadow Lake in Rockaway NJ, where I got to walk down the aisle to the crooning sounds of Tom Waits during the processional - how cool is that! They are a fun and laid-back couple and we had a perfect day overlooking a perfect lake...
Heather and Marvin at the Crowne Plaza Hotel, Laguardia... where I sang "The Wedding Song" with guitar and sang Stevie Wonder's "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" at the close.... Heather shed some soft tears, and her sweet sister Dawn could not do her reading because she burst into tears at that point, so they just held hands while I read it for her... and what a memorable wedding this was! Tears are not a bad thing, folks... it proves that you feel something and what's more moving than that?
Here are some highlights of the great ceremonies I've been privileged to officiate in 2009:
A sunrise 4th of July ceremony for Aulynn & Ted, on the beach at Sea Bright... (pic is at the very top of this page!)A beautiful afternoon ceremony on a humid yet gorgeous day for Elisa and Richie at LBI's Mallard Island Yacht Club 8/22/09 ...2 great weddings in Perona Farms' new Piazza for Maria & Jabbo en Español, Maria had a bright smile during the ceremony... and Jaimie and Garrett had a beautiful day there as well...Jackie & Rafael's happy nuptials at Courtyard on Main, Freehold...Trish & Jared's fun wedding at Glen Island Harbour Club, where their son the ringbearer accidentally burnt his hand before the wedding (he was fine though, just stressed out in a 4-year old kind of way... then he was stunned to discover hundreds of people waiting for him when he entered the room 
... they did a beautiful Sand Ceremony together...Jessica & Matt's personalized vows at Valleybrook Country Club (Blackwood) where they vowed "to be bad-ass full-time" as part of their vows :) ... and I played Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" on guitar as the bridesmaids walked down the aisle. And in spite of these lighthearted touches, this was a remarkably heartfelt and sincere ceremony! Lauren & Frank's really cool wedding at Studio 450 in Manhattan 6/20/09... I met some cool nuns from their family afterwards... "That Guitar Guy" from Central Park did the music... Melissa and Luis' wedding in Spanish, surrounded by trees in Manhattan's Fort Tryon Park by the Cloisters 6/19/09... a hot day but great! Two great weddings at Crystal Plaza for Mike and Thanuja (sunny and gorgeous in the gazebo garden out back) and Camila and Fernando (indoors, where I said some things in Portuguese and English including the Unity Candle... and they presented roses to their parents and each other. Agora pode beijar a noiva! (you may now kiss the bride) A sunny wedding at Crystal Springs in Vernon for Stephanie and Louis (his family is from the same village in Sicily as Sinatra and Lucky Luciano... 40 minutes from where my family is from (Ciminna))Cheryl and Greg, a sweet couple, were married at Carlstadt's Il Villaggio...Suehaydee & Juan's beautiful sunny wedding en Español at Garden Cathay in Plattekill, NY... Desiree & Walter's delightful Español nuptials at Florentine Gardens... Victor & Ydalim's bilingual Español ceremony at Voorhees Chapel on the Rutgers campus... it was warm in there but so was the love in the air :)Deirdre & Fabiano's fun wedding at the American Legion in Edgewater... I played guitar for the processional and recessional...Karissa & Matt who flew in from Wyoming to marry at the Jersey City Hyatt overlooking the Hudson on a real sunny picture-perfect Monday...
baby Gabriel's baptism in the sunny backyard with loving parents Kerry & Jared, who I was honored to marry in Nyack back on 7/7/07! Mandyjane & Dan's sunset ceremony in the courtyard of the Olde Mill Inn, can't go wrong at such a nice place! We did a nature-inspired blessing of the rings with water, sweetgrass and herbs which everyone loved... Gina and Jeffrey's wedding at one of the best kept secrets on cool locations: Adega Grill in Newark! A beautiful small room with amazing fireplace backdrop and ambience, and amazing tapas from the cuisine of Spain/Portugal (I was able to stay for the cocktail hour and glad I did!) Richard and Annie at the stunning White Meadow Lake in Rockaway NJ, where I got to walk down the aisle to the crooning sounds of Tom Waits during the processional - how cool is that! They are a fun and laid-back couple and we had a perfect day overlooking a perfect lake... Heather and Marvin at the Crowne Plaza Hotel, Laguardia... where I sang "The Wedding Song" with guitar and sang Stevie Wonder's "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" at the close.... Heather shed some soft tears, and her sweet sister Dawn could not do her reading because she burst into tears at that point, so they just held hands while I read it for her... and what a memorable wedding this was! Tears are not a bad thing, folks... it proves that you feel something and what's more moving than that?Backyard Weddings Can Be Great!
Here are some of the ultra-cool backyard weddings I've done this summer of 2009. Sometimes a backyard wedding comes out greater than a banquet hall wedding. What counts is the feeling, and the people, and the love!
Marlena and Mariusz had a beautiful wedding in their backyard in Clifton in August. It was sunny, I played guitar and officiated, and they had some great Polish food afterwards... what a happy couple and families.
Jessica and Jerry had a great backyard wedding in July catered by Famous Dave's BBQ... I know I'm a minister but I have to recommend their "Devil's Spit" BBQ sauce 
The ceremony was fun, moving and lighthearted and I played some Grateful Dead on guitar for the processional and recessional... and their 60-something Aunt who had been to the original Woodstock, sang a mean soprano version of "I Love Rock and Roll" in karaoke! 
Sharon and Rick's "BBQ With a Wedding on the Side" behind the Raritan Inn in Califon NJ, June '09... this was a blast! A lighthearted, shy, sweet middle-aged couple thrilled to be joining their lives together... after which they tapped some kegs of good beer, had every backyard game you can think of from bocce ball to badminton to horseshoes to a rubber duckie race in the creek that the whole extended family participated in... this is the way it's done, folks! Easily one of the most memorable and unique weddings I've ever officiated.
The best wedding I've ever done was a surprise wedding at a backyard crab-boil & BBQ in Salem, NJ. Only the bride & groom and I were in on the secret... & the family was blown away! Moms and Aunts were screaming like it was the Beatles on Ed Sullivan! Just goes to show you, it doesn't necessarily take oodles of money to make an amazing wedding!
Rodolfo and Kyle Melissa had a beautiful wedding in June in the backyard of The Pillars B&B in North Plainfield. Usually my weddings are 15-30 minutes depending what you pick... for this one we pulled out all the stops. It was about an hour, but not at all boring. It was entirely in English and Spanish... and we honored their children, did an amazing authentic Handfasting ceremony (British Isles) with the kids where the bride & groom's hands were tied loosley together; Sharing of Wine & Exchange of Roses, a Unity Candle lighting with the kids, and they also gave Family Medallions to their kids as a symbol of the new family emerging. It was a fabulous ceremony.
Marlena and Mariusz had a beautiful wedding in their backyard in Clifton in August. It was sunny, I played guitar and officiated, and they had some great Polish food afterwards... what a happy couple and families. Jessica and Jerry had a great backyard wedding in July catered by Famous Dave's BBQ... I know I'm a minister but I have to recommend their "Devil's Spit" BBQ sauce 
The ceremony was fun, moving and lighthearted and I played some Grateful Dead on guitar for the processional and recessional... and their 60-something Aunt who had been to the original Woodstock, sang a mean soprano version of "I Love Rock and Roll" in karaoke! 
Sharon and Rick's "BBQ With a Wedding on the Side" behind the Raritan Inn in Califon NJ, June '09... this was a blast! A lighthearted, shy, sweet middle-aged couple thrilled to be joining their lives together... after which they tapped some kegs of good beer, had every backyard game you can think of from bocce ball to badminton to horseshoes to a rubber duckie race in the creek that the whole extended family participated in... this is the way it's done, folks! Easily one of the most memorable and unique weddings I've ever officiated. The best wedding I've ever done was a surprise wedding at a backyard crab-boil & BBQ in Salem, NJ. Only the bride & groom and I were in on the secret... & the family was blown away! Moms and Aunts were screaming like it was the Beatles on Ed Sullivan! Just goes to show you, it doesn't necessarily take oodles of money to make an amazing wedding! Rodolfo and Kyle Melissa had a beautiful wedding in June in the backyard of The Pillars B&B in North Plainfield. Usually my weddings are 15-30 minutes depending what you pick... for this one we pulled out all the stops. It was about an hour, but not at all boring. It was entirely in English and Spanish... and we honored their children, did an amazing authentic Handfasting ceremony (British Isles) with the kids where the bride & groom's hands were tied loosley together; Sharing of Wine & Exchange of Roses, a Unity Candle lighting with the kids, and they also gave Family Medallions to their kids as a symbol of the new family emerging. It was a fabulous ceremony. A Beautiful Baptism
On Sunday May 24, 2009, I was honored to officiate a very special baby blessing/baptism for sweet baby James, 9-month old son of Kerry and Oliver. The ceremony was in a private room at the Salt Creek Grille in Princeton, NJ. James' mom Kerry's excitement for the special day was very contagious! I began the ceremony by playing the mbira, a small handheld finger harp. It is traditionally used in Zimbabwe for prayer and meditation, and it sounds like a lullaby. It lent the right spiritual tone to the start of our ceremony, helping everyone to relax and leave the worries of everyday life behind them. Then we had an Opening Prayer, a Naming Ceremony, Naming of the Godparents and Grandparents. (James even had a great-grandmother present!) We listened to James Taylor's song "Sweet Baby James" as everyone envisioned their future hopes and prayers for James' future, and then we anointed James with water, lemon (for when life is sour), and honey (for when life is sweet). Everyone was enriched by the ceremony on this beautiful sunny day.
Cool Wedding at Lory's Lakeside
On May 16, 2009, I was honored to officiate a really cool wedding at Lory's Lakeside in North Brunswick, for Pamela and Eric. A beautiful location on perhaps the last unspoiled bit of lakefront real estate in Jersey : ) It was a cloudy day at first, but right as our radiant bride Pamela came down the aisle at 12:30 in the afternoon, the sun came out and started beaming with radiance as well. Paulie, their 4-year old son and ringbearer, held the rings on the coolest ringbearer pillow I've ever seen: shaped like a 4 x 4 truck that said "Bad To The Bone". This is definitely the way to a little guy's heart.
The ceremony contained a beautiful reading of e.e. cummings' poem "I carry your heart with me", which sounded magical in the idyllic springtime lake setting. Then two friends of the bride and groom sang a heartfelt rendition of the Moldy Peaches' "Anyone Else But You". (The lyrics about the pebbles and trees rang true in the glen of trees surrounding us.) I read a verse in Italian in honor of Pam's deceased father. The couple exchanged lovely vows in unison, and the congregation said some vows as well! (A resounding "WE WILL!" to give the couple all their love and support.) Top that off with a colorful Sand Ceremony with son Paulie, and the release of gorgeous and COOPERATIVE butterflies (they often have a mind of their own), and you have one really cool and heartfelt wedding!
The ceremony contained a beautiful reading of e.e. cummings' poem "I carry your heart with me", which sounded magical in the idyllic springtime lake setting. Then two friends of the bride and groom sang a heartfelt rendition of the Moldy Peaches' "Anyone Else But You". (The lyrics about the pebbles and trees rang true in the glen of trees surrounding us.) I read a verse in Italian in honor of Pam's deceased father. The couple exchanged lovely vows in unison, and the congregation said some vows as well! (A resounding "WE WILL!" to give the couple all their love and support.) Top that off with a colorful Sand Ceremony with son Paulie, and the release of gorgeous and COOPERATIVE butterflies (they often have a mind of their own), and you have one really cool and heartfelt wedding!